Where are you?
In a non slutty way
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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