a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
