I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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