I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
