I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
