That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
