I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
