So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
