So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
