i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
