FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
