I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
