I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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