worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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