Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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