Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am puke
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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