opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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