So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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