who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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