Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
