dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
