I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
