Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
