she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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