No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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