Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
