Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
