Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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