margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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