I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
