I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
