White coat. Heels.
return my video game
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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