Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
