So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
