I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
