Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
