there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
