super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
