I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
