He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
