it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
