are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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