i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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