I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
