i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She is in my trunk
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
