Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
