Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
