While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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