the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
