With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
