I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
