Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
